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Done is better than perfect. I hope.

I currently have 3 partially finished podcast episodes just hanging out and waiting to be finalized or trashed or something.

This website is sitting here with the domain name it is intended for pointed elsewhere (I mean not anymore if you’re reading this but you get the point).

My house is full of projects. All of the projects. I love projects.

And I want them all perfect, to be like the things I visualize in my mind when I started them.

I saw the image below pop up into my facebook feed the other day and went…. Oh. Oh. Damn.

Because sometimes, a lot of the time, life really is like that for me. I rarely feel like I’m operating at my full potential therefore I should be capable of all these amazing things right? And I should be able to do them all at once and… and…. and…

Image Content: ADHD is spending your whole life being told that you’re not doing your best and that you could do better if you tried harder and worked harder until you believe it yourself, becoming convinced that your best work is actually only your average, and there’s a mythical, hypothetical, never-before-seen Your Best, which is surely the work of gods.

So you end up with this inflated ego and stalwart believe that you should be capable of curing cancer, discovering new planets, composing new opera pieces to take the world by storm, if you only tried harder. But for some inexplicable reason, you simply won’t put your mind and focus on it, and now you hate yourself for not being the spectacular specimen you were taught you ought to be.

And that’s why you end up having this conversation with your therapist where they are like “normal people don’t put this kind of demands and expectations on themselves”, and you dead seriously fucking answer

“Yes, but I’m not normal people.”

Big oofs all around. I know for a fact I spend far more time focusing on the things I didn’t get done or didn’t do well enough rather than celebrating my accomplishments thus far. Always pushing for more and more. And I do think there’s a fine line between the mentality of “I have to do better, this is not enough” and “Eh, good enough I can be done now” and I’d like to live somewhere in there.

So as I work on this podcast I’ve come to the realization that as much as the topics will generally be about my life/thoughts/ADHD the overarching theme is definitely that done is better than perfect. And if nothing else comes of all these endeavors other than to help you (and me) realize that we’re actually doing a really damn good job at this thing called life even when we don’t feel like we are. Then I’ll call it a glorious success.

Now I am off to make this website live where people can actually check it out and get some podcasts finalized, even if it isn’t all perfect <3

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